on 13-06-2010 04:25 AM
This takes place after MGS4. About 20 years has gone by and Raiden has taught his son John, how to fight like him. But, Raiden happens to die 5 years before the story. John's talents are recognized by certain branches of the US Special Forces and they try to recruit him. At first John refuses but after he gets framed for a murder he decides to enlist rather than go to jail. This is the basic plot for my story if it is any good let me know and I will continue it.
13-06-2010 07:12 PM - edited 13-06-2010 07:15 PM
It has been 20 years since the fall of the Patriots. John has grown into a very athletic young man. Every day since his 10th birthday, Raiden has taught him the ways of being a fighter. Although peace seemed to be near, Raiden had an intuition about it being short-lived. Every day brought a new exercise and challenge for John. At first he couldn’t keep up with Raiden, but as Raiden began to understand how to teach him, John did exceptionally well. But, when John turned 20, Raiden was diagnosed with cancer in a routine checkup that he attended every few months. About a month later, he died which was very shocking to everyone including the doctors. After the funeral, John decided to take Raiden’s sword out of the display case in his house and actually carry it around everywhere he goes. All of the intense training influenced John to go out and help people that were in trouble with the local gangs that terrorized the town. The gangs were not experienced with any actual combat, except for shooting unarmed civilians, unlike John. Raiden made sure to fight him regularly to hone John’s skills so when the time came, he would be ready. Now the infamous gang known as the BLOOD was the dominant gang in the world. John happened to be taking a walk a few blocks away from his house when he saw a humvee drive past and stop at the house right behind him. He noticed that on the doors was the word BLOOD in red ink. Three men got out of the humvee armed with AK 47’s and aimed them at the old lady that just walked outside of her house.
One of the men yelled, “You! Walk slowly toward your car and put your hands on the trunk!” The woman did as she was told while shivering with fear.
Another guy whispered to the first, “Boss, I thought there was supposed to be nobody home right now. This is not part of the plan.” While they were talking it out, John silently snuck to just behind the humvee. The three men seemed to have their guard down so John quickly made a front flip over the humvee and grabbed the man that seemed to be the leader. John choked him just enough so he would not have much oxygen but he was still conscience. The other two men were shocked by how fast their leader was constrained.
John said very calmly, “Now, listen. Put your weapons on the ground and take two steps back or he dies.” The two men looked at each other, then back to John and did as he said. John then released the man he held and shoved him to the other men. As the three men collapsed to the ground John took out his father’s sword. He pointed it at them and simply told them, “The three of you will go back to whomever your leader is and tell him what happened here today. There will be no more of your cowardly violence against innocent people. Now leave!” The men quickly got to their feet and just started running to the end of the street and turned out of sight. The old lady walked slowly toward John to thank him. He put his sword up and simply said, “No need to thank me. Someone needs to put a stop to them.” With that, John turned around and walked home.
That day something started to change within John. He was starting to have more a sense of who his father was. After that incident, John would regularly take walks for the purpose of finding more gang members and putting an end to their terror. But, something happened that he could have never foreseen.
19-06-2012 05:49 PM - edited 19-06-2012 05:50 PM
You started off well, but theres alot you need to change, for one you cant kill off someone like raiden with cancer im sorry but im not buying that lol.
second your too modern, think a little outside the box. Think of something like John joins the special service after years of training with Raiden before he was murded/missing.
Along the way he finds things that are linked with Raiden but he doesnt see how his dad comes into this, and with a big shock at the end raiden is alive and he infact didnt get killed or went missing but he is the main boss whos turned evil .
try not to go down a striaght road but take turns in the story for the best, dont think of it as your writing but something kojima would write and everyone would love to read
For the latest news and updates on what is happening in the PlayStation community, head over to our Announcements & Events forum. To post a message, you will need to Sign In to the Forums using your PLAYSTATION®Network Sign In ID and password. If you do not yet have a PSN account, just click here to register.
Website ©2013 Sony Computer Entertainment Europe
All content, game titles, trade names and/or trade dress, trademarks, artwork and associated imagery are trademarks and/or copyright material of their respective owners. All rights reserved. [more info]