I thought until today that I'm pretty good at bluffing crap to get out of awkward situations and bother.
I've never had much trouble telling fibs in the past but today I just couldn't do it and I cracked.
My mate came around this morning to give me a hand with some gardening and when he offered the other day to help out I just had the feeling he would ask about his fishing rod he left in my shed about two years ago while he was here.
Well he did............
Thing is, I used it to unblock my poo pipes and snapped it during the process and I had a feeling he knew that already because due to me not getting the blockage sorted out I had to phone someone out to do it and the day the bloke came to sort it he was at my house while I was at work (He's my woman's Dad), well when I got home my mate told me the sewage bloke said he found some things under the man hole cover including a fishing rod.
I've sort of managed to divert the topic until today, he said "Have you still got all my fishing stuff in the shed?*
I suddenly felt my cheeks flush and I couldn't look him in the eye which is weird for me because I don't usually react like that..............at first I said "Yea, yea it's all there" Then I thought "Erm I can't get away with this because we are gonna be going into my shed soon and he will see it's not there"
So I just looked up at him and said "I have to come clean, I used your rod to clear my poo pipes and it snapped off"
He just laughed and told me he pretty much knew that already because one of my kids told him about it the other week and put two and two together from when he knew there was a rod in my drains.
Well I just plied him with booze and gave him a drill in compensation and all was forgiven, but it was rather embarrassing as I'd lied to him at first.
Level 3
If i want to lie about something, you will never know the truth. I only really lie for my amusement though and not to get myself out of trouble.
I get a strange kick out of telling half truths to people in the hope they google search to prove me wrong. The fact I got them to google search tickles me and I dont know why.
I once dated a girl, didnt really like her too much, google searched everything she said. If she said it was raining out I would google search it, it was actually a month or so before she called me on it, it must have been driving her absolute bonkers. We broke up then.
But yeah, if i brake something or do something wrong I just admit it, cause if someone does me wrong and lies about it, its hammer time, and i dont want hammer time to happen me, i want to be doing hammer time not receiving.
Level 6
Well it's good that you came clean, since he probably would've thought you were a donkey for not coming clean and him already knowing.
I've been pretty good in the past as far as I know. I once texted my brother asking if he could get me any weed off of his mate, not knowing that my brother had sold his phone, along with that number, to my dads mate...
The guy who he sold it to, rung up my dad and was like "who's this asking me for weed?" and my brother got in the poop, so I was like "Oh it was me, I've got a friend who's got an addiction and she needs some..." He had a go at me for it, but I'm surprised he believed it, and told me I'd get in just as much trouble for touching weed, than using it.
I never did get any 
I don't like it now anyway.
I used to lie to work all the time to get time off. I'd make really sympathetic/emergency stories that worked really well, for example, at short notice I wanted to go to a convention and needed the Saturday off, so I asked my manager and then posted up a notice "Can someone cover my shift, gotta go to nan's 90th birthday in Scotland and she's not got long left in life, so I really wanna be there..." Someone covered me How does someone even believe that?
Reminds me of the time when me and her got together, she hid it from him for months while I just wanted to let him know I was having hanky panky with his daughter.
Level 3
Warren_Jeeves wrote:
I was about to tell him the truth the day the bloke unblocked my sewerage drains but my girlfriend looked at me behind his back and started to shake her head quickly.
Reminds me of the time when me and her got together, she hid it from him for months while I just wanted to let him know I was having hanky panky with his daughter.
If I caught you doing that with my daughter, I'd cut your furry dice off.
Level 5
In order to tell the perfect lie, you have to convince yourself before you convince others. wright the lie down on paper, so you've got something to remember. Stay well clear of family and close freinds cos' they tend to suss you out or tell the truth before yourself lol. Keep the lie has realistic as possible and don't make it too far-fetched.
Have any of you guys had to research the subject that you was gonna lie about?
I did, about the location where I was born. I said to some class mates that I was born in Shoreditch, London. cos' I was ashamed to admit were I was actually born due to it being a bit of a dive. Anyway I researched Shoreditch in order to tell a good lie. It fell through however 12 years later, when my mother needed help locating my birth certificate, my mate found it and said "Oh... that's where you were born". But to say he didn't know for twelve years, I'd say that was a good lie lol. But the sheer length and hard work you go through just to convince people is hardly worth the effort sometimes.
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