General Discussion

[fski]

I was convinced I had cancer once so I went to the doctor and said 'I think I have cancer' and she said 'Don't be silly, you need a fry up is all' ( ) so I went to the hospital and said 'I think I have cancer' and was told I was wasting their time and that I was fine

I then kicked up a big stink and was told it was all in my head and that I needed to see a shrink, which I did many times (I told him I thought I had cancer too)

It turns out I did have cancer, by the time I was admitted to Guys I it was so advanced I was given mere days to live. They were wrong about that too.

[Muttykins]

No but for years i've been convinced i'm getting shorter.

[PatC_PSN]

---

fski wrote:

It turns out I did have cancer, by the time I was admitted to Guys I it was so advanced I was given mere days to live. They were wrong about that too.

---

I know. And I'm pleased that you're OK. Probably not as pleased as you were, but still pleased. Really.

[fski]

Thanks Pat, it was a relief to be done with all the chemo and surgery to say the least.

[PatC_PSN]

---

fski wrote:

Thanks Pat, it was a relief to be done with all the chemo and surgery to say the least.

---

Yes, and I imagine it puts things into perspective. We all need that, one way or another.

[MusterBuster]

I had a spat of MEGA FLATULENCE during uni which always seemed to occur after eating dairy. Convinced myself I was lactose intolerant.

Turns out that, actually, I eat dairy all the time. The flatulence was caused by consuming too much acid, lowering the PH balance of my stomach and causing gaseous reactions to sugar (ie - lactose).

http://flatulencecures.com/coke-acidic-effect-digestion

In short, to balance out a bottle of coke - add a bottle of bleach.*

*Don't do this. Aside from killing you, the reaction will release lots of chlorine. Also killing you. And no, dying twice does not make you into a zombie.

[OoOGraceOoO]

I didnt have to convince the dr I had any lumps he just went hey ho did you say you ave a cold...I best check there..OH HELLO. Yet I changed drs -wasnt my cup of tea.

Ps MusterBuster fancey a date? I am finding my gas bill is too high right now and you seem like the man 4 the job. I also have a large spider in my hallway I am scared of can you bring thes eitems with you.

one a curry- two a lighter 3- ur bum. 

P.s the fonze is cool met him when he did school tours! (omg I made the fonze sound like the flasher in the bush) that sounded bad bush+ flasher

[Soiled_Man]

No but a friend convinced my entire year at school I had died,basically he faked my death, not making this up.

I had glandular fever for 2 months in year 10 and was unfit to be at school so I was off, none of the students knew what happened to me so one of the students who was a close friend thought it was clever to tell the maths teacher that I had died and that why I haven't been around, he believed him. It soon spreaded around the school.

so when I came back to school recovered I entered the maths classroom and the shock on everyones faces as I walked through the door and sat down and straight away the teacher shouted at my friend and sent him to the headmaster. People were treating me weirdly,offering seats etc it wasn't until later that I was told of what happened. 

[fenian]

---

MusterBuster wrote:

The flatulence was caused by consuming too much acid,

---

trippy.

[xElfenLied_US]

---

Soiled_Man wrote:

No but a friend convinced my entire year at school I had died,basically he faked my death, not making this up.

I had glandular fever for 2 months in year 10 and was unfit to be at school so I was off, none of the students knew what happened to me so one of the students who was a close friend thought it was clever to tell the maths teacher that I had died and that why I haven't been around, he believed him. It soon spreaded around the school.

so when I came back to school recovered I entered the maths classroom and the shock on everyones faces as I walked through the door and sat down and straight away the teacher shouted at my friend and sent him to the headmaster. People were treating me weirdly,offering seats etc it wasn't until later that I was told of what happened. 

---

Why couldn't that have happened to me I was bullied at school, and this would've been fun to play with them back

I got them all back anyway. If you look at my year 11 group picture of the whole year, I have my middle finger up. The photographer published it to all these students and parents, and then they tried to stop me going to prom because a parent spotted it out and phoned up the school

I still went to prom though, because my prom dress was just shy of £400 and there was no way I was gonna let that go to waste. I just ended up doing a week in the detention room, even though I had already finished school early, we just had to go to exams.