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Right well, to settle this once and for all I jumped in my DeLorean and had a butchers at the future
Unfortunately there is no PS5 as the current PlayStation poster boy, Mark Cerny runs off with an underage girl who is the motion capture actress for Ellie in The Last of Us 2. This leads to the PS4 failing due to public outcry and the XBone selling more than eleventy billion consoles.
As a result of this Microsoft becomes so rich and powerful they manage to disolve governments the world over and MS become the rulers of every country, using Bill Gates as their public figure even though he's not actually in charge (much like the Queen)
With no one able to tell Microsoft what to do they launch their successor to the XBone, codename Skynet which is a PC and console all in one. Eventually Skynet is found in everything from mobile phones to artificial intelligence in vehicles, making them completely unmanned. Afterwards they drive (themselves) with a perfect operational record.
Micrsoft then creates Skynet in the cloud and employs Viagra company Pfizer to manufacture a red pill and a blue pill which gives the human race the option to upload their mind to Skynet's Cloud servers, rendering the human body useless. Objectors to the Skynet Cloud nickname it 'The Matrix'
The human race begins to revolt against MS with plans to take Skynet offline. On August 29th 2018 Skynet becomes self aware, turns the red/blue pill into an airborne form and places it in car air conditioning systems so that humans don't even realise they're ingesting it by breathing it in
By October 2018 the entire world's population exists in the Skynet Cloud, aside from one person: a man named Neo. Watching from Skynet Cloud the human race watches with hope that Neo can save humanity. On October 23rd the human race realises 'Neo' is in fact just Keanu Reeves, an overrated actor who's acting ability only stretches as far as wooden, stilted roles. Keanu realises his failure, lays down and fires the full magazine from his Browning 9mm into the air whilst screaming, saving just one bullet. He then shoots himself in the head while looking at a naked picture of fellow actress Connie Nielson, whom he starred with in 'Devil's Advocate'
Humanity is lost and there was nothing I could do so I jumped back into the DeLorean and rushed back to make this post
In my time machine, I found a different future.
Chelsea were 2018 Premier League champions.
Which of these alternate futures would you rather come true?
Anything is preferable to bloody Football
Yes, there will.... I always Text my brother stupid stuff, like:
"Guess What, Final Fantasy 34 will be out in January, 2048
for the PlayStation 7..."
I hope so but the world may end by then.
I might as well stop paying into my pension and saving for a mortgage, spend it all on booze and take up smoking if that's the case.
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