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13 Jun 2012
By Logicintuwisdom

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Your darling bambinos - how do you discipline them?

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When they are naughty, are you:-

 

a) A smacker?

b) Naughter stepper?

c) You use another form of discipline?

 

Whether a) b) or c), please state what parameters you have decided to set for yourself for the way you have chosen to discipline YOUR children? 

 

Also, do you feel your views are the same as what you hear in the media and our present day society or do they differ slightly or greatly as to what is the correct way to discipline our next generation?

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03
/16

Logicintuwisdom

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(Continued back to Solid_Snake12345)

 

However, if a child is rolling around the kitchen floor because they're bored & you want it to stop, then the dialogue should be something like the following:-

 

"Get up off the floor, go & wash your hands & get ready for dinner."

 

Clear commands to the child, that you are the parent, you're the one in charge, that is what you require & you want it done now!

 

If the bad behaviour then continues, the parent should without delay, call their name (e.g. Ben), look directly at the child, saying with a firm, but not necessarily shouting voice, but enough to cause them to look up:-

 

"Ben, if you don't get up off that floor right now & go & wash your hands, your going to get a smack".

 

However, in the past, they needed to HAVE HAD that smack at some stage & it needed to have HURT, otherwise the threat will be perceived as meaningless.

 

Smacking is necessary imo, because there's only 24 hours in a day, but if it's done correctly, there shouldn't be a need to do it very much at all.

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EdwCarnby

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My method of discipline would be to let the video go viral which is exactly what he wants, so that he sees how cruel the world really is and considers his actions before he does stuff next time :)
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Logicintuwisdom wrote:
Spotter5 wrote:
Logicintuwisdom wrote:
Spotter5 wrote:
I water board mine.
Yes, that was very funny, but you're not going to dilute this thread - capisce?! :No-no:
Well the little bugger went off & bought a load of sweets & a beano with the money i gave him to buy me some cider. I had to to do it to teach him a lesson. He's 8 years old, enough to know he should'nt do that. & my name isn't Caprice!Well assuming you're not winding me up in the first place - & I know damn well that you are:-
a) You shouldn't be sending him off to buy you alcohol in the first place!
b) You shouldn't be getting blotto, whilst you're looking after this eight year old anyway, unless there is another sober adult in the buidling; & even then I'm sure you're being blotto around him regardless isn't a healthy influence.
c) I didn't call you caprice I said capisce - which you well know what I mean & you're being a disruptive wind up merchant!
Please desist you activities on this thread at one - you're being a silly person!
:Stupid:

Well if you must know I get drunk on purpose around him, see, when I get drunk I become very violent and abusive. Sometimes i'll hit him and the misses (before she left me) I do it to show him that alcohol is bad. I'm sure he'll grow up and never touch a drop.

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Spotter5 wrote:
I water board mine.

 

But what kind of questions would you interrogate a child with?

 

"WHO ATE THE HOBNOBS! WHO ATE THE HOBNOBS! I WANT NAMES, DAMMIT!!"

 

"MY NIGHT NURSES DVD IS MISSING!!! :Argh: DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS! OR DO YOU WANT TO VISIT DAVEY JONES AND ASK HIM IF IT'S IN HIS LOCKER!!"

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EdwCarnby wrote:Spotter5 wrote:I water board mine. But what kind of questions would you interrogate a child with? "WHO ATE THE HOBNOBS! WHO ATE THE HOBNOBS! I WANT NAMES, DAMMIT!!" "MY NIGHT NURSES DVD IS MISSING!!! :Argh: DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS! OR DO YOU WANT TO VISIT DAVEY JONES AND ASK HIM IF IT'S IN HIS LOCKER!!"
                                                        
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Logicintuwisdom wrote:
EdwCarnby wrote:Spotter5 wrote:I water board mine. But what kind of questions would you interrogate a child with? "WHO ATE THE HOBNOBS! WHO ATE THE HOBNOBS! I WANT NAMES, DAMMIT!!" "MY NIGHT NURSES DVD IS MISSING!!! :Argh: DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS! OR DO YOU WANT TO VISIT DAVEY JONES AND ASK HIM IF IT'S IN HIS LOCKER!!"
                                                        

:Lol:

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03
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Logicintuwisdom

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PatC_PSN wrote:
Logicintuwisdom wrote:However, stupid people will breed, but then go on to have babies that are not stupid; regardless, it is all the more reason to assist those parents who may not have a lot of common sense.
Indeed, the role of government in this context is primarily to provide a clear framework within which people must operate, the resources and support that may be reasonably required for that to be understood and achieved, and the controls and sanctions necessary for those who cannot or will not comply. Anything beyond that becomes interference, and telling people that they can't smack their children at all is an example of that. 
Agreed, but what would help, would be if they would stop listening to American think-tanks. As far as I'm concerned that nation for want of a better word need to learn our language properly!
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If the first time you have chastised a child is when it is six, then you may do more harm than good, as by the age of six a child has probably developed quite a distinct personality and in all likelihood it will be very difficult to teach a child of that age boundries who hadn't been taught any before.

 

It is all a matter of degree, how much time is available in a given situation and what kind of personality you're dealing with in the first place. For example, if you turned round and somehow a baby had got out of secure location like every baby on the planet has managed to do at sometime in their young lives and was crawling towards the cupboard

 

(cont.)

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You'd have to be a (cont.)

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Complete imbecile to believe that. ;)

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EdwCarnby wrote:
Complete imbecile to believe that. ;)
You see. both those last posts were insulting and I'm not insulting you!
As for going to America to bring up children - no thanks - I saw the problems Jamie Oliver had with their schools and the children over there. At least our kids got the concept he was trying to get over to them, far more quickly than their kids - which was no surprise to me either! 
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(cont.)

 

under the sink where the cleaning materials are kept, a sharp harshly said 'NO' should probably be the first course of action.

 

However, if you have a strong willed - possibly boistrous & wilful child (which normally denotes intelligence) then the verbal command may need something more severe to confirm you MEAN the verbal command.

 

You cannot expect a baby/toddler to grasp the complicated concept of respect, in some situations there just isn't the time to try & reason with them. They'll only understand & more importantly REMEMBER pleasure & pain at that age. It is a complete folly imo to give them the understanding that mummy & daddy are only associated with pleasure. They need to understand that mummy & daddy may dispense both pleasure & pain in order for you to teach them boundries.

 

Just learning pleasure will not be a good foundation to work from and certainly will not instill respect later on when they do understand the concept. Infact, what is learnt and I've seen it - is contempt!

 

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Logicintuwisdom wrote:

When they are naughty, are you:-

 

a) A smacker?

b) Naughter stepper?

c) You use another form of discipline?

 

Whether a) b) or c), please state what parameters you have decided to set for yourself for the way you have chosen to discipline YOUR children? 

 

Also, do you feel your views are the same as what you hear in the media and our present day society or do they differ slightly or greatly as to what is the correct way to discipline our next generation?


 

I've tried both A&B over time and both have no real benefit. Smacking only offers a momentary short sharp shock that the child does not remember long term. That in itself is a debatable point if you consider the different development stages of children and at what age you are smacking the child.

 

Infant's will have no long term recollection of the event but children around 7 will remember.  If it's an infant there is no long term memory recollection for the child to change the behaviour that you smacked them for so it turns out to be a useless exercise for the most part.

 

For a 7 year old if they remember the event it would be better to educate them using other methods like actually talking to them rather than smacking them. What is either child learning from the event of being smacked? To fear a parent or are they learning why they were smacked?

 

Sending a child to a naughty corner also doesnt work long term. All it does is make the child feel alienated. What are they actually learning from it? That if they do something an adult does not like this is what will happen? Anytime I've tried this with my daughter I've always ended up having to explain to her  the reason why the punishment was given.

 

I'v found that talking to her to explain and educate why the behaviour was bad or incorrect, without the need to send her into a corner, onto a step or whatever alienating description a parent uses for a naughty step had much better outcomes. Again though it all depends on the age of the child and what stage in development they are at.

 

Infants are notoriously difficult to discipline. There is no correct method and every parent is different. We have all witnessed the parent in a supermarket shouting at or smacking their child to control the child's behaviour. Would I criticise that parent? No. It is how that parent chooses to control the situation and discipline their child.

 

Would it be how I dealt with the situation? I honestly might have dealt with it the same way, because even though I dont believe smacking is a long term benefial way of dealing with a misbehaving child, sometimes the short sharp shock works and that is why this subject is such a difficult subject.

 

That being said though I've tried others methods like reverse psychology such as saying 'why dont you just play in the house' when really I want her to play outside. That doesnt really work either though as all I'm doing is being deceptive. It's not really an ideal thing to teach a child but I would hazard a guess that most parent's have used the method as an alternative.

 

In conclusion though, there is no correct method for disciplining a child, every parent must find their own way that they are happy with that helps in the development of their children that does not harm the child in the long run. For parents such as myself and my wife we can only speak for ourselves and say that we hope we did the right things in her development. I think that's how most parents would see it.

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anomolousblob wrote:
Logicintuwisdom wrote:
I've tried both A&B over time and both have no real benefit. Etc.,
This was an excellent reply, though I think you have a split-personality! One minute yr slagging me off the next you seem to be agreeing with me,
I hope everybody reads it & especially someone in government, to give them some pointers as to what a good policy on the issue should be.
However, the one thing you didn't address, which I feel needs urgently sorting out in society as a whole on this 'paranoid' area of debate surrounding how best to instill discipline in our young - is WHAT IS DISCIPLINE AND WHAT IS ABUSE?
If you don't believe me when I use the word 'paranoid' (& I'm saying this to everybody), just look especially at the first reply & a few after, that I received, after asking the main multi-choice question at the beginning of this thread.
It seems similar to the debacle of what is 'reasonable force' to protect your family, home & yourself when in public, the law is 
(cont.)
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Where did your consistent paragraphs go? :(
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(Continued to anomolousblob)

 

the law is vague & unclear. On discipline, I've made it crystal clear on one of my posts in this thread, precisely where I feel the dividing line should be - where is it for you everyone?

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It's time for food and a No.2 - not necessarily in that order, but it is most assuredly time for a cup of Rosie Lee!

 

 

 

I'm a gasping!

 

 

 

                                                            :Peace:

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If it was the other way round, I'd wonder what you were eating! ..
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EdwCarnby wrote:If it was the other way round, I'd wonder what you were eating! ..
Most of your posts are really irritating, especially when you were getting on your 'homosexual bandwagon loud-hailer', but that last post was actually really funny for you!
Nice one!
:Thumbs:
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Logicintuwisdom wrote:
EdwCarnby wrote:If it was the other way round, I'd wonder what you were eating! ..
Most of your posts are really irritating, especially when you were getting on your 'homosexual bandwagon loud-hailer', but that last post was actually really funny for you!
Nice one!
:Thumbs:

:|

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Logicintuwisdom wrote:

(Continued to anomolousblob)

 

the law is vague & unclear. On discipline, I've made it crystal clear on one of my posts in this thread, precisely where I feel the dividing line should be - where is it for you everyone?


 

 

If your posting tripe I'll tell you that. I thought this subject was a good discussion so I replied in that way.

 

Like I mentioned in my original reply, it is upto the individual parent/s to define any dividing liine on what discipline is acceptable or not. The only regulation that a parent can actually refer to on the matter is the 2004 Children's Act which permits mild smacking under 'reasonable chastisement'.

 

In that Act any smacking that causes bruises, cuts, grazes, swelling is punishable with a 5year prison sentence. If your looking for a dividing line then that is it as the law currently stands.

 

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