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13 Jun 2012
By Logicintuwisdom

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Your darling bambinos - how do you discipline them?

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13 Jun 2012
By Logicintuwisdom

When they are naughty, are you:-

 

a) A smacker?

b) Naughter stepper?

c) You use another form of discipline?

 

Whether a) b) or c), please state what parameters you have decided to set for yourself for the way you have chosen to discipline YOUR children? 

 

Also, do you feel your views are the same as what you hear in the media and our present day society or do they differ slightly or greatly as to what is the correct way to discipline our next generation?

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xElfenLied_US wrote:
Logic, Blob, how would you discipline this child?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0WgWWH2dbc

How would you?

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anomolousblob wrote:

xElfenLied_US wrote:
Logic, Blob, how would you discipline this child?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0WgWWH2dbc

How would you?


I asked you first.

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xElfenLied_US wrote:

anomolousblob wrote:

xElfenLied_US wrote:
Logic, Blob, how would you discipline this child?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0WgWWH2dbc

How would you?


I asked you first.


Why do you think he needs disciplined?

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I agree he's not doing anything wrong!
He's going to break the girls hearts when he grows up - he's also got taste - Lady Gaga is awesome and she most definitely would not have to ask me nicely!
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Logicintuwisdom wrote:
He's going to break the girls hearts when he grows up - he's also got taste

 

I'm sure he will - because of his tastes. And I'm not on about Lady GaGa!

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Logicintuwisdom wrote:
I agree he's not doing anything wrong!
He's going to break the girls hearts when he grows up - he's also got taste - Lady Gaga is awesome and she most definitely would not have to ask me nicely!

But he's gay? Don't you have something to say about his sexuality?

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xElfenLied_US wrote:


Logicintuwisdom wrote:

I agree he's not doing anything wrong!

He's going to break the girls hearts when he grows up - he's also got taste - Lady Gaga is awesome and she most definitely would not have to ask me nicely!

 

But he's gay? Don't you have something to say about his sexuality?

 

Is he? He must be about 8, I doubt he has ever had a remotely sexual thought (gay or straight) in his life. He may grow up to be gay but he's nothing at the moment and attempting to label him can only be a bad thing.

 


Logicintuwisdom wrote:

I hope everybody reads it & especially someone in government, to give them some pointers as to what a good policy on the issue should be.

 

I think Dave used to lurk on here when he was leader of the opposition but he's a bit too busy now. Give it three years and Nick Clegg will have loads of time to read your posts.

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I'm sorry if you've already mentioned this but I must be quite blunt, I find your posting style completely and utterly insufferable so I'm sorry if you've mentioned this already but do you have any actually reason why you support spanking? The reason I ask is simply because although I have seen many studies suggesting a correlation between spanking and negative effects (such as these: http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/02/07/us-spanking-idUSTRE8161R220120207 and http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1983895,00.html) I have seen few (I don't think I've seen any actually) studies that suggest spanking is beneficial. The only argument for spanking that I have ever seen rests in "I was spanked when I was younger and..." or "The older generation were spanked and...". In other words, I've only ever seen analogies to try to support the claim with little actual research supporting those analogies. I'm hoping you'll reply via the quick reply instead of typing in twenty different quote boxes when/if you do reply though :P.
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Solid_Snake12345 wrote:
I'm sorry if you've already mentioned this but I must be quite blunt, I find your posting style completely and utterly insufferable so I'm sorry if you've mentioned this already but do you have any actually reason why you support spanking? The reason I ask is simply because although I have seen many studies suggesting a correlation between spanking and negative effects (such as these: http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/02/07/us-spanking-idUSTRE8161R220120207 and http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1983895,00.html) I have seen few (I don't think I've seen any actually) studies that suggest spanking is beneficial. The only argument for spanking that I have ever seen rests in "I was spanked when I was younger and..." or "The older generation were spanked and...". In other words, I've only ever seen analogies to try to support the claim with little actual research supporting those analogies. I'm hoping you'll reply via the quick reply instead of typing in twenty different quote boxes when/if you do reply though :P.


You'd be lucky :Lol:

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Solid_Snake12345 wrote:
although I have seen many studies suggesting a correlation between spanking and negative effects (such as these: http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/02/07/us-spanking-idUSTRE8161R220120207 and http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1983895,00.html) I have seen few (I don't think I've seen any actually) studies that suggest spanking is beneficial.

 

I haven't looked into it properly but the second of those articles essentially claims it causes bad behaviour while the first says the same and makes other claims.

 

This study says that those are fundamentally flawed and that there is no significant correlation between smacking and bad behaviour.

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WJB1 wrote:

Solid_Snake12345 wrote:
although I have seen many studies suggesting a correlation between spanking and negative effects (such as these: http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/02/07/us-spanking-idUSTRE8161R220120207 and http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1983895,00.html) I have seen few (I don't think I've seen any actually) studies that suggest spanking is beneficial.

 

I haven't looked into it properly but the second of those articles essentially claims it causes bad behaviour while the first says the same and makes other claims.

 

This study says that those are fundamentally flawed and that there is no significant correlation between smacking and bad behaviour.



The problem I have however is that although it does say the studies are flawed (it doesn't state there is no significant correlation, just that the method used in the study was flawed for reasons such as bias and when you eliminate the bias from studies it may indicate that the difference is overall insignificant and again, it doesn't target these studies in particular so it may not even be relevant for those) I haven't seen a study to indicate that there is anything positive to be gained from physical punishment. In fact, if the studies are flawed and there is no difference between a spanked child and one who was punished by other means then it would further my belief that spanking is unneccessary to discipline a child and brings with it no advantage while leaving the possibility of being detrimental (the possibility I only leave open because based upon what little I've seen there appears to be far more research on the negative aspects of spanking as opposed to benefits).

@Logic, I do realise the reason why it responds in multiple quotes, the problem I merely have is how you continue to use that as opposed to work around it. Rather than posting within multiple quotes I merely suggest that you begin the post with:

"@<enternamehere>, <enter reply here without copying and pasting the post unless necessary>"

The reason for this is because when you reply in multiple quotes while simultaneously actually quoting somebody it makes it very difficult to distinguish what you're actually posting and what you're replying to, mainly when you end up putting excerpts of what the person said in multiple quote boxes which makes it hard to distinguish between them.

Anyway, back to what you were saying, I have to agree with Mikal_Drey in that although you make a valid point in that it allows a quick and immediate reaction and could be one "tool" of parenting, the problem is that it ends up simply causing a fear reaction, not solving the root of the problem and likewise parents may end up too reliant upon the tool. The poor parents you mention within your posts would still be poor parents regardless of whether or not they ended up hitting the child, hitting the child may end the behaviour but it still wouldn't teach the child why it was wrong and is only a temporary solution.  I understand your point of view, and if I did support smacking I would agree with your implementation but I do feel that it is more beneficial to explain the reasoning why it is wrong and then to reward positive behaviour and less severe punishments (such as confiscation of items, grounding etc.) for negative behaviour to simultaneously make them wish to continue behaving well while also ceasing to behave poorly. Although you say that the child may know "full well why" you're hitting them for physical abuse (which I consider ironic since you would be hitting a child to teach them why hurting their brother was wrong), that is not necessarily the case depending on the age. Theory of mind for example does not seem to be developed until between four and five and I am unaware as to the age that cognitive dissonance develops to an adaquete level but I believe (I cannot find the source, I'm only going off memory so this may be ignored) it is roughly between seven and 12. Similarly social dissonance (which is linked to theory of mind) begins to develop by five but is greatly refined between seven and twelve also. So as a result teaching children the reason, despite how it may be "common sense", seems like a necessity.

Similarly, what age bracket of child are you talking about with the behaviour you refer to? The reason I ask is somewhat related to the above yet is pretty independant. What do you do when the children has an undiagnosed psychological disorder, cognitive, intellectual or otherwise and a simple smack won't sole the behaviour? Do you continue to hit the child to immediately end the behaviour despite how they may not understand the reason? And how do you define "reasonable"? I know you've mentioned what you consider the line being crossed (anything beyond a red welt on the arm or leg is abuse) but what happens if that isn't enough to stop the behaviour and it continues regardless? Do you simply continue to hit the child at that amount even if the severity of the behaviour increases because a harder hit is "reasonable" for the behaviour? It just seems far to open to abuse (pardon the pun) in that everybody's opinion of what is reasonable in each situation will be different and as such it is simpler to forbid it and then have the expectation that parents will have the maturity and ability to parent their children despite the inability to smack them.

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Solid_Snake12345 wrote:- I'm sorry if you've already mentioned this but I must be quite blunt, I find your posting style completely & utterly insufferable so I'm sorry if you've mentioned this already but do you have any actually reason why you support spanking? Etc., Well it looks like yours & everyone else that's whinged about my so called 'posting style' prayers has been answered. (It's not a 'style' btw - it's just simply the quote button like many things with Sony's PS3's cheap & nasty Christmas Cracker like browser - doesn't BLOODY WORK properly used in conjunction with a CRT tv - even though Sony supplied the cables that are SUPPOSED to make it compatible - in other words like with most BLOODY modern tech. around today - older tech. works better!) This is the message I get now if I click on the quote button:- An Unexpected Error has occurred. Sorry, your request failed. A notification has been sent to the development team for investigation. Exception ID: 3256737B (cont.)
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(Continued back to Solid_Snake12345.)

 

Please click back to browser."

 

Now I'm NOT getting this error message when I press the quote button! Ahhh! Annoying! Now I'm back to being able to partially quote again - what a pile of crap! 

 

Anyway, back to your post, apparently WJB1 has found another study that discredits the two you've provided links to - in other words, as the saying goes -"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.", but I'd rather use the much more ancient phrase "Spare the rod & spoil the child" which apparently according to the net goes all the way back to around 1377.

 

But before everyone starts screaming at me "so you want bash our kids with rods do ya"? No absolutely not! It's the rationale behind the expression that I agree with or a more modern phrase I suppose, would be ''give 'em an inch & they'll take a mile''.

 

The main reason I'd advocate smacking for parents to use as ONE OF THE TOOLS for disciplining their children can be sumed up in one word - TIME!

 

(cont.)

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(Continued back to Solid_Snake12345)

 

Too many times I've seen it in public, where some little horror or worse horrorS are running around the restaurant/supermarket you're in; rubbing other people up the wrong way, because some weak-willed parent is pandering to or worse, oblivious to the bad behaviour of their child.

 

I said before, ONE OF THE TOOLS for disciplining your child - well the other main tool that should really go hand in hand with the 'smack' is obviously the 'WARNING OF THE SMACK'.

 

Only under very extreme conditions would I advocate parents smacking children without first warning them they were likely to receive a smack.

 

For example, if a bigger child had pushed his little brother over on purpose onto a supermarket floor, for no reason other than he's a bully & his little brother had banged his head on the hard floor causing him to cry - then I would say a parent was within their rights to administer a whallop without any notice at all, as the older boy would know full well why!

 

(cont later)

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My advice - post as you were, but don't use quotes. Just say "@<name>". It's far too much effort trying to work out where the quote ends and life is too short to read the same posts over and over.

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InfiniteStates wrote:My advice - post as you were, but don't use quotes. Just say "@<name>". It's far too much effort trying to work out where the quote ends and life is too short to read the same posts over and over.
Whatever! To be honest, I think maybe you should be telling Sony your thoughts on THEIR quoting system not me - I'm more interested in the content of what I'm posting rather than how it looks cosmetically.
Anyway, as I posted earlier, I started getting an error code & the fault has been forwarded to their development team, so maybe when your children's children have got children, Sony will get round to sorting this problem out for people who have the temerity to still be using a CRT tv, but I wouldn't hold your breath!
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Sony aren't here - you are. I'm giving advice on how to make your posts readable with the current system as it is. Heed it or not, I don't care. I will simply skip posts that are a mess of quotes - it's no skin off my nose.

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InfiniteStates wrote:

 

Sony aren't here - you are. Etc.,

 

I think you'll find Sony ARE here in the form of moderators connected to all kinds of internal resources.

 

You can't be so naive to believe that the moderators just deal with miscrients posting stuff they shouldn't do - do you?

 

I've only been using these forums for a few weeks now, but today this error message came up I told you about & then it disappeared again!

 

I'm quite sure from the number of people that have been belly-aching at me about my messy quoting & that it's genuinely out of my control - that whoever needs to be informed within Sony will be.

 

The trouble is, backward engineering doesn't seem to be a priority for ANY high-tech firm I've ever come across, otherwise I probably wouldn't have this damn problem in the first place!

 

As to your not reading my posts, because you feel they're a "mess of quotes" well, I don't think I'll get to sleep at night now!

 

Yeah rightio!

 

Ask yourself this? How many threads of yours have I answered?

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hey hey

Smacking is not and in no way whatsoever necessary. Smacking should never be advocated under any circumstances.

For a "threat of a smack" to be effective you have to smack the child at least once. Threats are only effective if they elicit some form of fear response. If your child is afraid of you or has the belief that you will inflict physical pain then that is an issue.



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Logicintuwisdom wrote:

 

The trouble is, backward engineering doesn't seem to be a priority for ANY high-tech firm I've ever come across, otherwise I probably wouldn't have this damn problem in the first place!



Exactly why taking steps to improve your own situation is beneficial. Instead of waiting for someone else to do it for you, while crying at every opportunity that they haven't done it. I guess it takes neither logic nor wisdom to realise that using the quote button was mangling your posts...?

 

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